I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
