Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
