You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
