is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
