It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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