let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
this will be a night to untag.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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