I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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