The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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