Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
is it fun? or sober?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
