You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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