Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
