you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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