Nicole vs. Life
I think I died a long time ago.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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