I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
