i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
