If i come over, it means nothing
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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