Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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