FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
