I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
