i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
