I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
did i just pee glitter
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
