I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i think im in europe. pls send help
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize