the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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