Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
