It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I think my vagina is haunted
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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