sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
