I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
