Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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