you guys were way drunker than both of me
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
