I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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