the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Congratulations! We have a period
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
