ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
