Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
So much Jack, so little girl.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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