apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
