Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
