ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
