im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
