My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
