...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
