are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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