I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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