evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
