he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
