i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
