We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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