So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
