u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
