I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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