Farmville is her only friend.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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