god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
All I want is dick and wine.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
