like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
